Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Parody-100 storey skyscapper meant for inmates and lunatics.

KUALA LUMPUR-The 100-storey skyscrapper planned for the city of Kuala Lumpur is built to house overflowing inmates from all across the country and the lower 30 storeys will be fabricated into an asylum for those with psychiatric ailment.

The mega tower, dubbed "1Malaysia Tower" is expected to crunch up RM 5 billion off the national budget and capable of holding up to 100,000 inmates as well as 5000 mentally-disabled. The plan, which earlier received backlash from citizen across the nation due to its hefty price and limited function, is now well received by the Rakyat whom earlier created facebook page to derail the plan.
Image: billyuniversal.blogspot.com
"They do not understand what's the real function of the building at first," said Mr Jebat Hangus, also known as Kacakman, the spokeperson for the Prime Ministers' Office, in a press conference held here today in Putrajaya. “We didn't want to tell the Raykat the real reason behind the plan because we wanted to keep it secret. Criminals aren't pleasant so the plan should be classified, right?"

The plan was proposed by the Prime Minister Dato' Sri Mohd Najib in his Budget 2011 speech in October 2010.

"But the Rakyat demands the truth, so we have to give them the truth or else they wouldn't want to pay the tax, which is essential for the budget of the building," he continued. "With the building capable of holding up to 100,000 inmates, all other prisons across the country can be converted into usable land for development, isn't it great?" said Hangus.

The plan is now widely accepted as one of the best conceived plans proposed by the Malaysian Government in years. The Rakyat is now happy to know the truth that they no longer have to live in close proximity of prisons and asylums, as all dangerous personnels will be housed in one single building, secluded and isolated.

"It's a happy ending to a well-conceived plan, the idea is marvelous!" said Lim Ah Kan, one of the boisterous critics that rebutted the plan earlier on. "Now we can all live happily without fearing for our safety because all crazy people will be gone living in the building. Long live our Prime Minister!"



Malcolm

p/s:this is a parody I'm experimenting on, so if you like this style of parody, please let me know. And this, of course, isn't true =P

Monday, November 29, 2010

Spiders in My Front Yard

I love spiders. These eight-legged creatures are truly awesome hunters, they catch moth, butterfly, bug, and some catch fish, and larger ones(the tarantulas) can even hunt mice and birds.

There are several spider webs in my front yard, and the inhabitants are quite huge really. The largest one is over 4~5 centimeters in diameter with its legs spread out.
Beautiful coloration warns potential predator that they're venomous. You can actually see its huge yellow-colored fangs.
This, I guess is the common orb web spider-not very sure about it. Any arachnologist around? 
The larger spider feasting on a weaved moth on the left side of the web is a female spider. There is another spider, a dark, smaller one on the other side of the web-its a male spider. Male spiders are tiny compared to their female counterparts in part because it makes it easier for them to get around and spread their genes.
The female spider's formidable size makes her male counterpart look like lunch.



Malcolm

Friday, November 26, 2010

First Anniversary

Sometime around this hour last year I wrote my first entry.
Image: njjewishnews.com
A year later, I have had 155 posts under my belt, and there are more to come. Today, I have three four causes for celebration:

a)I just had my first paper for the seventh semester this evening, and the next one is two weeks away! (yaay~~~)

b)Today 28th Nov 2010 is the one-year anniversary of MalcT32.blogspot!(yaay~~~)

c)Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that sometime in the last two weeks, I got my 40,000th page view! (yaay~~~)

d)Last Friday(November 19th), I wrote my 150th entry entitled LASIK~ (yaay~~~)

So, after so many posts, what's next?

Hmmm... I shall continue writing for those of you avid readers of mine(do I have any??) and if there is none, then I shall continue to write to please myself-I find it pleasing whenever I look back at a well-written piece of essay and say "wow... mother nature is simply marvelous..."

For those of you who had encouraged me to write more, I thank you for your time,endeavors and willingness to read up vast amount of words I've written, and I hope I could continue to deliver more fascinating stories for you all.



Malcolm.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Discrimination Against Muslims in European Job Market.

We all know about discrimination, and everyone's effort to curb the problem. In football, for example, FIFA is trying hard to bring the racial element out of the game. Europeans are trying to cover up their racism problem but to no avail, we could still see cases of people being displaced in Europe and ironically the human rights groups in Europe are blaming the Chinese government for being biased towards the minority Uyghur in Xinjiang. Clean your own ass before you laugh at others.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Men, take note. Women are the stronger sex

I just read about this new theory that defies the cultural dogma that belies within our mind for a long time: women are the weaker sex.

Well the fact is, we are physically stronger because of testosterone. We are emotionally more stable because we lack oestrogen.
Nevertheless, statistics show that women live longer than men.

Why?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Saturday, November 20, 2010

蓝席

明明已经不给人机会

还要求人做事。。是利用吗?

答应人考试后见。。我痴痴的等。。连封信息都没有。。
等到来还是一场空







妈的你 emo 个屁啊?为了一条鱼 emo 么?以前蓝席的你死哪儿去了?

做人蓝席点,表为了一条鱼 emo 到不像你~



Malcolm

Emo Emo

Alright I was kinda pissed last night.

I was thoroughly disappointed over some issue and ludicrously packed myself into a state of emo-ness.

Friday, November 19, 2010

LASIK

Nowadays we have spectacles of different shapes and sizes, and also contact lens to help us see better. But still, nothing beats looking at the world without an object between our eyes and our subject. People spent thousands to get their vision fixed via LASIK, so it is somewhat a lucrative business.


I was assigned to do a presentation on "laser in medicine" yesterday, and I found something interesting.

Ever heard of the term LASIK?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Horoscopes

Ancient people used the position of the sun, the moon and the stars in the sky as a guide for agricultural activities. Nomadic tribes used the constellations of the night skies for navigation, a practice which was later used by many civilizations. This led to the study of astrology (note that astrology is different from astronomy).

Why would they care about a planet trillions of miles away with mass less than 100 times the mass of our sun? We are so pathetically minute and incapable within our own solar system that we couldn't even land a man on Venus.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

World Congress of Accountants 2010

I took up a job as a paid volunteer last week (7-11 November) at the World Congress of Accountants(WCOA) 2010. It's the Olympic of Accounting--the best accountants from every corner of the globe gathered in KL for a 4-days congress, and I was part of it(proud proud~~).
Image: www.wcoa2010kualalumpur.com
It was, however, a job so exiguous one could perform them posthumously, and seriously all I did was just standing at the door for 5 days. The pay wasn't bad so I didn't mind waking up 5am in the morning and came back 10pm at night.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

World's Biggest Testicles

Tuberous bushcricket, a katydid, has world's biggest testicles(relative to body weight).

Thursday, November 11, 2010

What Really Motivates Us?

What motivates you?
Why do people give to charities? Volunteer? Write blogs -- for free?

Why do we do the things we do?

Money? Pride? Love? Sense of accomplishment?
How many of us really love what we do everyday at workplace, at school? How many of us afford to do what we love to do?

For employers, recruiting the right personnel to do their job(and loving it) could improve performance and level of competence. For employees, choose the wrong job and you're buried in quicksand for the rest of your life.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Deepavali -- The Festival of Lights

Deepavali, or Diwali is an important five-day festival in Hinduism and Jainism, occurring between mid-October and mid-November. For Hindus, Diwali is the most important festival of the year.
Image: malaysiasite.nl
Diwali involves the lighting of small clay lamps (divas) filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. Some Indian business communities begin the financial year on the first day of Diwali, hoping for prosperity the following year.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Injury

Yesterday I was riding my bike through the SS2 roundabout when a darn car in front of me suddenly stopped, and the best thing was his brake light was defected so I didn't even know he slowed until the last moment.
I hit my brake and just hit his car on my right thigh, and my right foot got cut by the metal brake. The pain was great--I managed to hang on until I reached my house and I saw blood gushing out of the wound.

My fren took me to the nearest pharmacy and bought some cotton wool and some chemical etc etc to process the wound.

I expect the wound to stop bleeding this morning, but it didn't. =(

The skin is sliced off by the metal brake. So I hold it up to make it dry underneath the skin.

Cutting away the dead skin

Be my own surgeon

Simply balut balut


Other cuts and bruises

Die young is not an option. If it still bleed this evening I'll have to see a doctor really.



Malcolm

Monday, November 1, 2010

Been There? Chris Rock tells why women are always mad

If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't seriously thought about killing that motherfucker, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and look at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll the ass up then, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't practise your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love..

and the only thing that stops you from killing this motherfucker was an episode of CSI.

Relationships are hard, you see. But in order for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus. We all know what that page is, we all know what that focus is-- the focus is all about HER. She's already there fellas, she's waiting for you to come aboard.

Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say
"Fuck u!! Fuck your hopes! Fuck your dreams! Fuck your plans! Fuck everything you thought this life's gonna bring you!
Now let's go out there and try to make this bitch happy..."

Yes, it's all about her fellas, and always say "Yes" to everything. Everything you could afford, say YES too. Before she even gets it out of her fucking mouth.

Honey can I..... YES!
Honey I wan... YES!
Honey how bout... YES!
Let's get a ......YES YES YES YES YES YES !!!!!

Another thing fellas,
DON'T ARGUE!
You cannot win. You can never beat a woman in an argument, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
Cuz man, we are handicapped when it comes to argument, cuz we have a need to MAKE SENSE~~
Women ain't got a lot of little thing like sense stuck up their argument. Cuz she ain't in it for sense, she's in it for distance and irritation.

"How long can I talk before this motherfucker snaps?~"

That's right. Try your best to make her happy. But it's impossible to make a woman happy. Women like to complain. Women save up shit to complain about.

"Oh he don't even know I know, and I'm gon git on his ass on that shit next month"

They like fucking complaining, even when you fuck them with a diamond dick.

If you work all the time.
"Why you work all the time, you ain't never home, you're always leaving me, I hate this shit!"

If you're home all the time.
"Why you're all up under me? Let me get some fucking room to breathe. Damn~ stop swear at me! I hate this shit!"

If you make more money than her.
"Fuck you! I wanna make decisions too. You ain't my fucking daddy, I don need you to take care of me, I hate this shit!"

If she makes more money than you.
"You broke motherfucker! you never have no fucking money! Fuck this shit~ I never wanna make all the decision. I need to be taken care of. I hate this shit!"

And the number one reason why your woman are always mad is b'cuz...... you ain't her first choice.

Why~~~~?
Fellas, you ever catch a woman just lookin at ya, but not saying nothing? Cuz in her mind she's thinking

"How did I end up with this ugly motherfucker. Oh Lord this motherfucker is ugly and stupid. I had a good man and I blew it. Damn, Lord kill my man, kill him please. Kill him while i still look good enough to get something new. Strike him now if you're out there Lord, strike this motherfucker dead~!"

watch the video here
XD


Malcolm~

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