Parody-Lakers sign Obama to two-year, $38 million deal

LOS ANGELES -- The President of the United States, a former ball player himself, has apparently grown tired of Lakers' inability to contend for the NBA title in recent years, and hence the lucrative deal.

Gay Marriage Legalized in New York

Sometime last week, New York became the sixth and most populous state in America to legalize gay marriage. The opposition(yes, all those church-goers) wept and screamed and shouted words-fit-for-infidels in their attempts to prevent this from happening.

A sweet victory for gays in New York, and I suspect gay couples from all corners of New York would flock to register themselves before the archbishops, pastors and church-runners of New York force Mayor Bloomberg to change his mind.

搞笑日报-“一个大麻”高楼男子因氧气不足窒息而死

（獨家報導：刘性福.吉隆波26日訊）高居“一个大麻”摩天楼顶楼的一名中年華裔男子因住得太高，今早由于氧气不足而窒息。

图: wallcoo.com

死者為27歲的范建，來自笨珍，初步調查相信死者自窒息而斃命，案件無刑事成份。

柔佛中央警區副主任阿里巴巴警監受詢時指出，死者被發現時衣著完整，身上并没有任何伤痕，但脸部表情似乎要向警方说些什么似的。

“初步調查显示，公寓屬死者所有，公寓第一百层的高度大慨有五百六十米，此高度的氧气非常少，相信死者或因獨自生活，缺氧时没有人伸出援手。”

“好彩在低楼建了停尸房。你知道啦，栋楼建的酱高，分分钟都会有人跳楼啦，窒息啦。”

“一个大麻”摩天楼（1Marijuana Mega Tower）是马来西亚联邦政府于2010年大笔挥霍国库资金所建立的。价值五十亿零吉以及高达一百层的摩天楼包含了最先进的保安系统，露天游泳池，高级公寓，购物广场，有机厕所，火箭发射基地，斗牛场，动物园，赛车场，还有停尸房以及牢房（最低层）。

死者遺體已於今日清晨送往低层的停尸房等待家属领取。不过工作效率极低的医务人员导致剖驗工作直至下午3時仍未結束。

首相纳吉在得知“一个大麻”摩天楼命案后向死者家屬致哀，并劝民众在购买公寓之前必须先确保本身的肺活量以避免惨剧的发生。



Malcolm

Developed Economy Generates More Jobs, Or Less?

Forgive my ignorance.

Evidently, the relationship between technological advancement and employment is complicated.

People have always said that a developed country equals to plenty of job opportunities. Because a developed economy requires a plethora of man power to feed its insatiable appetite for resources. China, for example, relies heavily upon her 1.3 billion underlings to run the coal-mining industry, agriculture and oil fields.

Lost People Wander in Circle: Truth or Fiction?

Well, we've seen it all in the Lord of The Ring, and they didn't seem to go off-course did they?

No-Fathers Day

The Mosuo (摩梭) culture of the Chinese Himalaya thrives in a matrilineal society, which means men don't playing any significant role in the family. Here, women head the households, make business decisions, and own property, which they pass on to their matrilineal heirs, very much like our own Adat Pepatih in Negeri Sembilan.

And most importantly, they shun marriage.
Yes. No marriage at all. So where do the kids come from?
I guess some of you may be processing your sordid imagination by now but no, there is no incest involved.

Saving 7 Million Tons of Juvenile Fish A Year

40% of the world's population relies on fish for food. But every year, 7 million tons of dead fish are tossed back into the ocean because they were too young (i.e., small) to be marketable, or simply because they weren't the species the fishermen were after.

David Watson, a student in the Innovation Design Engineering joint course between the Royal College of Art and Imperial College, London, has designed SafetyNet to counter this problem.

How Fireflies Produce Their Glow?

The simplest answer would be bioluminescence. But that alone doesn't explain the mechanism and the rationale of exposing your whereabouts to potential predators at night.

Defining Our Mentality

How do we define a decent person?
I think a lot of us would suggestively say that a decent person would not be judged based on the outside, but how many of us actually judge a person based on the inside?

Cancer In Animals

Yes, animals do get cancer. I just got to know that by the way.

Prominent biologist and blogger Carl Zimmer wrote that the mere existence of the largest of all animals, the Blue Whale, suggests that it is possible to suppress cancer many-fold better than what is currently done in humans.

Blue whales can weigh over a thousand times more than a human being. That’s a lot of extra cells, and as those cells grow and divide, there’s a small chance that each one will mutate. A mutation can be harmless, or it can be the first step towards cancer. As the descendants of a precancerous cell continue to divide, they run a risk of taking a further step towards a full-blown tumor. To some extent, cancer is a lottery, and a 100-foot blue whale has a lot more tickets than we do.

该怎么擦？

大多数的人应该都忘了是谁教他们擦屁股的（99%是他们的父母），或为什么浆擦屁股。而且我们一旦习惯了我们所用的方式我们就不会改变我们擦屁股的模式。对吧？