WASHINGTON--Real estate mogul and reality show star Donald Trump has provided documentation to prove that he is indeed an obnoxious piece of human excrement.
The president-wannabe and business tycoon has earlier accused President Obama as "someone born outside America" but was later proven wrong when the president produced his birth certificate proving that he was born in Honolulu, Hawaii.
"Oh my heart goes out to him." says cab driver Ronald Vagon. "It's so obvious Trump is a shit by nature, yet the Democrats are demanding an evidence."
"Why need evidence when it's obvious he's a smelly pile of shit? He acts like one, talks like one, and thinks like one."
"It's really sad."says housewife Angela McMahon.
"He's being pressured into showing the document. It could be hiding everywhere. A businessman like Trump could never afford to waste time searching for the certificate, unless that's the only cert he's got in his entire life."
Now that Trump has provided the certificate, it could well the one and only certificate he's acquired thus far.
The American public, however, refuses to believe that Donald Trump could not be a shitty president in the future.
"Oh he sure will. He shits on everyone around him." commented a lawyer who's been working with Trump for years. "He shits on you whether he's happy or not. He just love to fuck up your day."
"His brain is full of shit. If he sets out for foreign visits, I doubt he wouldn't shit on those middle-east tyrants' head."
"Now that President Obama has proved he's a fucking American, Trump should really strive on to show his ruthlessness in shitting up everyone else's day. Well, we don't need his document really, cuz' one would've think he's a retard if not a shit."
p/s: This is a fake news. But Trump is indeed a pile of feces. Quoting from Robert De Niro:
I know Obama was trying to bridge the gap. His intentions are really good. Maybe some things are not as good as we all would like but his intentions are good. A lot of these guys—their intentions are not even good. They're just playing a game and they're playing with people's lives.