Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Truth About Spiderman

The creator of Spiderman was a horrible observer. 

There is no similarity between Spiderman and normal spiders other than the ability to climb walls and produce silk. Even that silk part was emulated inappropriately.

Image: imaginables.org
All spider silk glands are located near the anus. And spiders don't shoot silk-they have no muscles at their anus that are up for the task-they can only pull it out and attach it somewhere and then move away. If Peter Parker were to force something out through his butt I believe something else might pop out instead.
Image: imaginables.org
Male spiders, however, do have special appendages on the front of their bodies, which can weigh up to 20% of a male spider's body weight. These special limbs, however, are not used to store silk. Instead they are used to transfer sperm. Yes. Sperm.
Image: en.wikipedia.org
The said appendages are called pedipalps, and they are used to insert sperm into a female's body. Spiders evolve these appendages because, well, male spiders do not possess a penis (hence, logically speaking, if the bite gives Peter Parker the ability to shoot silk like a spider, it should also cost him his precious manhood). In order to mate, a male spider deposit his sperms onto a "sperm web". He then turns around and load the sperms into his pedipalps.

So the sticky stuff Peter Parker shoots from his wrists? Hmmmm... No wonder most people freak out when he shoots a huge blob of sticky emissions at them. 
Sticky? Yes. Very sticky indeed. Image: marvel.wikia.com
Moreover, spiders don't eat solid food. Spider venoms dissolve the prey from the inside, so the prey would turn into some kind of soup. But Peter Parker doesn't spit his saliva onto his meal and then ingest the dissolved food.
I'll never see Spiderman the same way again.

Malcolm



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