Thursday, June 30, 2011

Parody-Lakers sign Obama to two-year, $38 million deal

LOS ANGELES -- The President of the United States, a former ball player himself, has apparently grown tired of Lakers' inability to contend for the NBA title in recent years, and hence the lucrative deal.

"It's the best thing that could happen to you," says Kobe Bryant, after presenting the Lakers' jersey to the President on behalf of the team at a press conference in Staples Center earlier today.
"I mean, here's the fucking President of America and he's joining you for two freaking seasons! That's a lot of money and a lot of fans as well."

"I've seen him play before, and I tell you what, this guy has got some games in him." he continued as he watched Obama strolled leisurely through the court and jammed in a 3-pointer.

"See what I told ya? He's good."
When contacted, the Lakers' head coach Mike Brown said that President Obama is set to start training with the team in August on a weekly basis.

"There's no exception. No one is allowed to skip training, not even the President." he said grimly.

"And as President I guess he should've known better."

"I'll make sure he sticks to the weekly training schedule. Strict diet. No question. And I heard he has been smoking a lot. He'd better be sure not to mix politics with his game here. No compromise with his rhetoric."

Obama, 49, will be the oldest and most glamorous player ever to grace the NBA, displacing Nat Hickey, who was 45 years, 363 days when he played his first and only NBA game for the team he coached, Providence Steamrollers in 1948.

"I'm pretty confident that I could catch up with the rest." he quoted during a special interview session in the White House.
"I've lost quite a number of years doing politics instead of basketball. So it's time to make up to all that losses before I turn 50."

"I think my destiny lies with basketball. Perhaps I shouldn't have mess around with politics afterall." he said as his gaze gradually soared away in nostalgia.

Obama was part of the Punahou team that beat Moanalua High 60-28 for the 1979 state title. In that game Obama missed a free throw and scored on a garbage-time breakaway, and spent the rest of the game on the bench.

p/s: This is a fake news. Obama ain't gon play no games for Lakers.


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