I was wondering whether I changed at all.. I was once an obnoxious kid, arrogant, over confident, no humility, selfish, double-faced.
Alright.. There are a lotta people whom I've hurt in my life. Being ego and arrogant, and sarcastic over every comments they made. Perhaps, I thought I would not need them, so even if they finally decided not to ever see my fucking face again I wouldn't even care.
Upon reaching UM and realizing the stupidity of local residents, I could not help but to think back those friends that I've hurt. I did some good deeds here (things like helping the blind to cross the road) and no one knows. Friends here are like.. shit. Nothing can compare to your ex schoolmates, ex classmates, ex those-who-fell-for-you, ex football pals...etc..
In class, I arrogantly ignored XXXX XXXXX XXXX and made him a laughing stock. He probably knew it but I didn't care.
Also, XXXXX XXXX was orally abused by me although I was the lil' one. Also there were cases where I was double-faced, selfish, over confident.
Now, after 3 years in HELL, I realized that my confidence has ceased a lil, and of course sarcasm as well. I became more polite (compared to the old Malcolm) but still working on it, and my language became softer(hard language is like: why do I have to care if you get hungry? It has nothing to do with me). But there is 1 thing I will not let go: my ego. Horatio has it, Bezita has it, Christiano Ronaldo has it, and I shall keep it. :P
why did I change? Because I realized that the people that I once hurt, either by sarcasm, arrogance, selfishness, double-faced were the one that I would really miss for the rest of my life. Yes, YOU are very important!
people, I am sorry for what I've done in the past.
*now I immediately pick up my ego and say NO MORE APOLOGIES FROM ME!*
Malcolm
=)
from ur blog, i can sense egoness, pride, & arrogance in u. but most often when some1 said that to u , u will feel angry & insulted and tend to be denial. might as well asked "ur so good ?".
ReplyDeleteif it's that so, then ur really ego and proud.
actually everyone does. it's human fallen nature. just that everyone on different level. some improve, some turn humble and some get worst, some too ego to learn and changed.
in my opinion, ur a nice person within inside. but there's many of this "logics" in ur life principle. u would perharps like to reason, point out truth and facts straightforward while others all mostly unaware of things happening.
ur more critical than most person in which u think they are a level below u in which u can c things they could not.
i believe ur a nice person. but bkful because ego destroy a person.