Hopeless Self-Flagellation

I went to a traditional chinese medicine practitioner this morning, intending to get my backbone and ankle fixed. This is what I got.

This reminds me of the movie The Da Vinci Code.

Extremely excruciating, really. I had to reject an invitation by a friend tonight because of the pain I'm enduring. I know it looks cooler than a tattoo but the pain is nowhere near. Perhaps westerners would like to have a try? You know, it disappears after a few days, perfect for proms and weddings.



Malcolm

Going Back Home 2011

Chinese New Year falls on the 3rd of February 2011. So why am I coming back so early?
Good question.

Parody-K. Rajagopal Appointed New Manager of Real Madrid, Replacing under-fire Manager Jose Mourinho

MADRID, SPAIN-K. Rajagopal replaces The Special One as the new manager of Real Madrid, having resigned as Head Coach of Malaysia to take up the appointment.

Mourinho effectively sealed his fate by quoting that he wasn't hired to beat Barca. Rajagopal, though, was not about to repeat that mistake in his first press conference at the Bernabeu.

Image: yespepol.blogspot.com

"Real Madrid has the quality to win against any team in the world," said the former Malaysian Under-23 coach, who has been appointed until the end of the season.

"I would like to thank the board for their confidence–I face this job with excitement. It's everybody's dream," he added.

"Everything here is fantastic. It's a dream come true for any manager. Even the cutleries in the dining hall has the Real Madrid emblem embedded on it."

"I hope I don't let anyone down and that I achieve the successes that this club has set for this season. In most of my previous jobs I have had poor contracts. We came to a quick agreement and I'm delighted. If I'm happy at the end of the season then I might extend the contract. Both sides are free to see what happens."

Announcing the decision to sack the former Chelsea coach, Real's sporting director Pedrag Mijatovic said of Mourinho: "Well, to be honest, we hired him to beat Barca.

"His mentality of playing second fiddle to Barca is simply ridiculous. How can we win the title without beating Barca? Last week one of the directors even saw him wearing a Barca jersey and cheering for them!" His face clearly betraying visible emotion.

"He is a good man, I mean he actually cleans his office every weekend and helps mowing the pitch. But we have gardeners and cleaning ladies to do all that. We hired him to get us the damn title, not to be an extra gardener!"

The appointment of Rajagopal will possibly cause an uproar amongst Malaysian fans who have seen the fortunes of their national team transformed under his guidance. The Malaysian national team recently won the Suzuki Cup, prompting hopes that the team is heading back to the pinnacle of football in South East Asia.

Speaking earlier of the new coach, goalkeeper Iker Casillas is full of hope and admitted Madrid are hiring "the right man capable of winning trophies."

"We are going through a bad run under Mourinho," said the Spain international. "We're playing defensively and it's certainly not the spirit of Real Madrid."

"The new coach has got experience under his belt-the Suzuki Cup and the Malaysian Cup, as well as the Malaysian Super League title. What else can we ask for?

"Well we are certainly optimistic about our chances for the Primiera Liga title now, because now we have added spices from Asia into our team!" He continued with a grin.

"Messi and friends, see you all at the next El Classico."



Malcolm
p/s: This is a fake news. Mourinho isn't sacked, yet.

Thaipusam 2011

Thaipusam, or sometimes known as Thaipooyam, is a Hindu festival celebrated by Hindus to commemorate the occasion when Parvati gave Murugan a vel(a spear) to destroy the evil demon Soorapadman.

Batu Caves is the place where millions of Hindus in the Klang Valley converge to celebrate the event.
I woke up early in the morning, 3:15am to be exact, brushed up and went in Ivy's car. Btw I find her car extremely clean.

Thaipusam is celebrated on the full moon in the Tamil month of Thai(January/February). So the moon was really pretty that night-captured using 55-200mm zoom lens.

On route to the cave, we walked pass this building and I was kinda disturbed upon seeing the number of air conditioning unit for this single building. Imagine the amount of electricity required to power up those machines and more importantly, the amount of pollutants such as CFC released into the air(though not many modern air conditioning unit still uses the CFC, but it's still disheartening.

Look at the wave of devotees flocking into the cave! Btw I guess the big statue there is the statue of Murugan, as he is holding a spear in his right hand. There are 272 stairs leading to the cave.

This dude has got pots of milk hooking on his body. This form of self-sacrifice requires the devotee to undergo a 48-days fasting as well as performing elaborate ceremonies before the Thaipusam. Staggering stamina. We could hear people calling out velvel! velvel! along the way. It's a form of encouragement for the devotees, and it literally means "spear", which was given by Parvati to Murugan.

Upon reaching the cave, there is a priest waiting to take off the hooks from their body. They would then pray and do some ceremony. Oh btw the guy just fainted.

There are various forms of Kavadi, the easiest being carrying a pot of milk. Heavier or larger kavadis involve hooks stuck into the back and either pulled by another walking behind or being hung from a decorated bullock, with the point of incisions of the hooks varying the level of pain. The greater the pain, the more god-earned merit.

Alright I didn't know that Theirry Henry is a Hindu, and that Batu Caves has got his attention.

The people are burning plastic bags. Sorry to say but it's really sickening to see the bags going up in flame and no one seems to be bothered at all, except perhaps Ivy and myself.

There is no stick. Don't worry, I understand what you're trying to convey dude XD

Stalactite hanging above us. I could sense droplets of water in the cave. Imagine if one actually falls...

Night view of KL city from the entrance to the cave. Panoramic view-thanks to the photographer.

This explains why cows are exalted by Hindus. But I couldn't find the name of the goddess.

This is funny. I saw something rising upward in the sky, and I thought it was a lantern or something, so I took out my zoom lens and snapped a shot, and zoomed in... EPIC FAIL TWEETY.

Outside the cave there is temple dedicated to the Monkey King Hanuman. He appeared in the Rayamana, helping Rama to defeat the demon king Ravana. Awesome statue.

The girls went to had their hands tatoo-ed. RM 5 per hand.

Ahhh... so this is the right way of using a tripod huh? How do you know it's snapping the right target?

This is another sickening view besides the plastic-burning incident. A stall was giving away free roti canai and the people discarded the polystyrene everywhere. It shows that we haven't really evolve.

This river I think acts like the Ganges River. Devotees go in the river and clean themselves. Just like her Indian counterpart, this river isn't really clean though..

 This man of god has a spear through his mouth. He is deciphering the man's fate for the coming year.

 I had my arm tattoo-ed as well. Great muscle, I know =P... oh and fair skin XD

 They had their tattoos modified cuz they weren't happy with the first tatoo.

 Saman is the way of Malaysian. Love it. RM 300 gone on the day of Thaipusam.

Nikon D7000. If only I have sufficient cash to convert my D60 to a D5000...cheaper than D90 but it has video recording ability.

All in all, it was a great experience really. I saw for the first time people actually puncture their mouth and tongue with a spear, and according to them it boasts no scar. o.O unbelievable? I know.

Experiencing a new form of culture is really cool. I don't mind coming back for another Thaipusam next year because in every kavadi I sensed the spirit and dedication of Hindu devotees to their gods, and that is worth a thousand rounds of applause.



Malcolm.
info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thaipusam

Thai Club and Bistro KL

Last night was the craziest night ever. Together in a car, a bunch of friends and myself went to the infamous Thai Club to support the band of a former YLS senior. Along the way we spotted a Lamborghini Gallardo and we sped our Kelisa past it.

Having a Lambo means having an equally big ego, the Lambo guy drifted past us soon after-and we were left chasing shadow.

Save Me? Stop Trying

I find it ridiculous that most Christians can't accept the fact that one of them actually turned away from the church.

It's been four months into my life as a free thinker now, and there seems to be an unending row of Christians waiting to correct me back into the right path. Free books are pouring in, counselling sessions are munching away my time. The very question they often ask: Why are you so lost? Why are you questioning God?

最近的我

最近有点emo， 有点懒。
课也不去上，天天编曲，睡觉。
一醒来就想到大摇。。。
不行不行。课业不可荒废。要重整旗鼓。

最近看到有朋友在面子书抱怨某些固执的宗教。
其实，做了近四个月的非信徒，觉得还蛮不错。还蛮自由的。
做事不用怕怕，礼拜天也不用因没去教会而有罪恶感。
但是它毕竟是陪伴我度过二十三年的东西，所以有时候听说某某人是基督徒就会暗喜。
哪又怎么样？又不干你屁事。
对~现在我就是要脱离“哇~是基督徒耶”的心态。
现在每个宗教对我来讲都是一样--都是叫人做好事。
但对我来说，科学能提供更好的解释。
科学万岁！

最近很懒惰，部落格都写不好。
看到非常好的文章就念念，然后放一边。
堆了一大堆文章，看了又看，又懒得跟人分享。就自己独吃算了。

最近大摇进展不太理想。中了马大高层的阴招，被逼延期到三月。
也好啦，反正编曲不太好的可以慢慢编，编好的可以专注学业。
把大摇放一边先。反正已经延迟到三月，不必太担心啦。
不可以搞到两头不到岸。

最近马大与三威联合举办了一项活动，是项商业计划分享之类的东东。
我对商业最没兴趣。本人乃是脚踏实地之辈，商业风险小弟玩不起。
为什么？
第一：没钱
第二：怕失败
商家看到我肯定没兴趣。
还是乖乖打工吃薪吧~~

2012 busted

For those of you out there believing in this silly-outer-space-apocalypse-theory: well it will not happen, at least not in the year 2012.

The movie was great. John Cusack managed to get his ass into the massive ark despite all odds-typical the-hero-never-dies plot. A huge success for Hollywood: grossing in excess of $766 million, brought the crew fame and wealth, and most important of all, left a lot of us panic over the prospect of a global cataclysm in 2012.

72nd Anniversary of the Rediscovery of Coelocanth

December 22, 2010 marked the 72nd year of the rediscovery of Coelocanth. On this day, exactly 72 years ago, museum curator Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer pulled out the Coelacanth-an order previously known only in the fossil record, from a pile of "trash" fish hauled in by a trawler.

Should We Not be Alert?

There has never been clear evidence that mobile phone radiation can cause any form of biological effect. Well, I've said many times and again I'm going to say this: mobile phones utilize radio wave, and that is perfectly safe, since radio wave is even weaker than our visible light. So please be sensible.

Mathematician Matt Parker appeared on BBC Radio 4 maths show More or Less and wrote in the Guardian about the strong correlation between the number of mobile phone masts and the number of births in the same area. He reasoned that this was only a correlation based on the fact that both transmitter tower numbers and births are dependent on population size, and so the figures change in unison as a population changes. The more people you have in a particular area, the more transmitting tower you need. Make sense?

Spiders in My Front Yard 2

Some of you might have seen the spiders lurking in the bush in my front yard. There are seven of them actually, and this I believe is the mother of the rest. She's incredibly huge and surprisingly placid even when I disturb her web.

Look at the size of this sexy lady~

Another angle.

My hand was actually quite near to her fangs so I was a bit nervous actually.

The white thingy is the spider egg sac

Another spider egg sac on the fence

Take a closer look, you can see the pink hatchlings at the verge of the sacs

Tear it open, and there they are, hundreds if not thousands of them.

Mommy spider captures a caterpillar. Yummy~

By the way I just destroyed some spider web and egg sacs last week because there were too many of them, which will lead to fierce competition for food. Some will never make it against those larger spiders so it's not a bad thing to euthanize them really.



Malcolm

Parody-Pandas Sue WWF for Image Rights.

GLAND,SWITZERLAND-Representatives of pandas worldwide have filed a lawsuit against The Wide Fund for Nature(WWF) for using the panda image as its logo for the past 49 years.

Speaking to the media after submitting papers on behalf of his client in The International Court of Justice in The Hague, lawyer Jackson Chua said that the action has "tarnished the image of pandas worldwide."

"They are angry because WWF makes them look so vulnerable,"said Chua at a press conference held later in a local hotel.

"It's unfair to portray the strong, mighty member bear family to be weak and vulnerable. They are strong, and they do not need the protection of weaklings like us."

"It makes them lose their sense of pride, and mother panda finds it hard to explain to their children about their so-called 'weak and vulnerable' image. Just imagine how would they feel when they see weaker animals like the earthworm laughing at them-it's disheartening I'm sure."

Chua continued his argument that while the NGO’s objective was well-intentioned, which was to protect the environment, the image itself should be replaced by other animals, one which is truly weak and requires the help of human to survive, for example the parasitic tapeworm that thrives in human intestine.

A representative of the pandas, when interviewed at a panda sanctuary in Chengdu, expressed his agitation at WWF.

“F*** them!” said Mr Brua Ngpanda, angrily.

Mr. Brua Ngpanda rants at reporter of Parody Daily during the interview. Image: tigertailfoods.com

”What we have believed for generations have been spoiled by that filthy image. What's wrong with their freaking brain? We are from the bear family! Even the tiger is afraid of us! Why not put the tiger's image as their logo? It's unfair you see.

"You know my dad lost his job because of the image, his employer thought he was weak so he was fired. And we got so poor we had nothing to eat apart from those freakin bamboos. It's not as good as the Char Kueh Tiew that I used to eat all day long, the taste is not even remotely close!" said Ngpanda, angrily banging his fist on his thigh.

"And it's even harder to look for a girl now-I mean, who would want a weak husband? We are in fact strong, but with the internet and all, girls are exposed to the wrong concept that we male pandas are weak."

"I guess all we could do is just to play cute so as not to lose the fans that adore us....ugghhh that's sickening!" said the dejected Ngpanda.



Malcolm
p/s: this is a fake news, it's a parody. Do not believe it-unless you speak "Pandash"

What Happen If Every Element On The Periodic Table Came Into Contact Simultaneously?

No, no. They don't form anything like the Hulk, and definitely won’t form a super-molecule containing one of everything.

Image: forbiddenplanet.co.uk

There are two methods of putting it to the test, neither of which are practical.

Pantun Tahun Baru 2011

Ah Meng bangun pagi pagi
Rupanya sudah tahun baru
Selamat datang saudara-saudari
mari-mari ke blog aku

Ah Meng pergi berus gigi
berus gigi jatuh dalam jamban
berita lama berita terkini
semua pasal korupsi kerajaan

Ada udang di sebalik batu
ada jerung di tengah laut
ekonomi Malaysia teguh macam batu
tapi kerajaan janganlah kedekut

Image: ohbest.blogspot.com

Harga petrol naik turun
hati pengguna melonjak-lonjak
bangunan parlimen alami kebocoran bila hujan turun
hati Sami Vellu pulak menlonjak-lonjak

 Ada bajet untuk bangunan 100-tingkat tapi takde bajet nak pasang paip di bangunan Parlimen? Kah kah kah.. Image: agendadaily.com

Ada lembu di tengah jalan
sana sini ia berkeliaran
pilihanraya umum masa hadapan
janganlah ada MP yang kesesatan

The most controversial political defection in Malaysian history happened in Perak when 3 Pakatan Rakyat assemblymen, with the help of MACC and money politic defected to BN in February 2009.  Image and info: bukittunggal.com

Ada pondan pula di tepi jalan
menjual jambu dan juga ubi kentang
Ada toyol dalam barisan kerajaan
membuat segala macam perkara sumbang

Image: sukns.blogspot.com

Orang ramai saling memijak
mengapalah nak mencari gaduh tak tentu pasal?
Ahli politik yang kurang bijak
jangan lagi menyuruh orang cina dan india balik negara asal

ni surat bukti sume kedai toto gua yang punya! Image and info: tukartiub.blogspot.com

Apa-apa perkara buruk yang telah lalu
janganlah kita simpan dalam hati
Rakyat Malaysia semuanya bersatu padu
bersama menjadikan tahun 2011 tahun bestari.



Malcolm