Thursday, January 6, 2011

Parody-Pandas Sue WWF for Image Rights.

GLAND,SWITZERLAND-Representatives of pandas worldwide have filed a lawsuit against The Wide Fund for Nature(WWF) for using the panda image as its logo for the past 49 years.

Speaking to the media after submitting papers on behalf of his client in The International Court of Justice in The Hague, lawyer Jackson Chua said that the action has "tarnished the image of pandas worldwide."

"They are angry because WWF makes them look so vulnerable,"said Chua at a press conference held later in a local hotel.

"It's unfair to portray the strong, mighty member bear family to be weak and vulnerable. They are strong, and they do not need the protection of weaklings like us."

"It makes them lose their sense of pride, and mother panda finds it hard to explain to their children about their so-called 'weak and vulnerable' image. Just imagine how would they feel when they see weaker animals like the earthworm laughing at them-it's disheartening I'm sure."

Chua continued his argument that while the NGO’s objective was well-intentioned, which was to protect the environment, the image itself should be replaced by other animals, one which is truly weak and requires the help of human to survive, for example the parasitic tapeworm that thrives in human intestine.

A representative of the pandas, when interviewed at a panda sanctuary in Chengdu, expressed his agitation at WWF.

“F*** them!” said Mr Brua Ngpanda, angrily.
Mr. Brua Ngpanda rants at reporter of Parody Daily during the interview. Image:
”What we have believed for generations have been spoiled by that filthy image. What's wrong with their freaking brain? We are from the bear family! Even the tiger is afraid of us! Why not put the tiger's image as their logo? It's unfair you see.

"You know my dad lost his job because of the image, his employer thought he was weak so he was fired. And we got so poor we had nothing to eat apart from those freakin bamboos. It's not as good as the Char Kueh Tiew that I used to eat all day long, the taste is not even remotely close!" said Ngpanda, angrily banging his fist on his thigh.

"And it's even harder to look for a girl now-I mean, who would want a weak husband? We are in fact strong, but with the internet and all, girls are exposed to the wrong concept that we male pandas are weak."

"I guess all we could do is just to play cute so as not to lose the fans that adore us....ugghhh that's sickening!" said the dejected Ngpanda.

p/s: this is a fake news, it's a parody. Do not believe it-unless you speak "Pandash"

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