Monday, November 1, 2010

Been There? Chris Rock tells why women are always mad

If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't seriously thought about killing that motherfucker, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and look at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll the ass up then, you ain't been in love..

If you haven't practise your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love..

and the only thing that stops you from killing this motherfucker was an episode of CSI.

Relationships are hard, you see. But in order for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus. We all know what that page is, we all know what that focus is-- the focus is all about HER. She's already there fellas, she's waiting for you to come aboard.

Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say
"Fuck u!! Fuck your hopes! Fuck your dreams! Fuck your plans! Fuck everything you thought this life's gonna bring you!
Now let's go out there and try to make this bitch happy..."

Yes, it's all about her fellas, and always say "Yes" to everything. Everything you could afford, say YES too. Before she even gets it out of her fucking mouth.

Honey can I..... YES!
Honey I wan... YES!
Honey how bout... YES!
Let's get a ......YES YES YES YES YES YES !!!!!

Another thing fellas,
You cannot win. You can never beat a woman in an argument, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
Cuz man, we are handicapped when it comes to argument, cuz we have a need to MAKE SENSE~~
Women ain't got a lot of little thing like sense stuck up their argument. Cuz she ain't in it for sense, she's in it for distance and irritation.

"How long can I talk before this motherfucker snaps?~"

That's right. Try your best to make her happy. But it's impossible to make a woman happy. Women like to complain. Women save up shit to complain about.

"Oh he don't even know I know, and I'm gon git on his ass on that shit next month"

They like fucking complaining, even when you fuck them with a diamond dick.

If you work all the time.
"Why you work all the time, you ain't never home, you're always leaving me, I hate this shit!"

If you're home all the time.
"Why you're all up under me? Let me get some fucking room to breathe. Damn~ stop swear at me! I hate this shit!"

If you make more money than her.
"Fuck you! I wanna make decisions too. You ain't my fucking daddy, I don need you to take care of me, I hate this shit!"

If she makes more money than you.
"You broke motherfucker! you never have no fucking money! Fuck this shit~ I never wanna make all the decision. I need to be taken care of. I hate this shit!"

And the number one reason why your woman are always mad is b'cuz...... you ain't her first choice.

Fellas, you ever catch a woman just lookin at ya, but not saying nothing? Cuz in her mind she's thinking

"How did I end up with this ugly motherfucker. Oh Lord this motherfucker is ugly and stupid. I had a good man and I blew it. Damn, Lord kill my man, kill him please. Kill him while i still look good enough to get something new. Strike him now if you're out there Lord, strike this motherfucker dead~!"

watch the video here



  1. pure genius. crude...but pure genius. :)
    this is a keeper.

  2. OMG!!!! U're so fucking sexist.... so farking hilarious!!!! But It wasn't bcuz it was fucking true but more to why you were so intense!!! Some bitch step on ya tail ha? HAHAHAHAHAH....

    Pity the diamond dick though XD.



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